Jesus Geneology: Though Jesus geneology was interesting, he was not related to a Genie in a Lamp Mt 1:1-17, Lk 3:23-38 that included Jumpin' Jehoshephat!! Mt 1:8

Luke 1- JOHN THE BAPTIST was the son of oldies but goodies ZEKE and LIZ? who were 'blessed' with a pregnancy in their old age (is that an oxymoron?) Now because Zeke doubted the preggers message he became speechless..but on the positive side made him very good at that party favorite CHARADES. Meanwhile in a near by carpenter shop an Angel visits Joseph Mt 1:20 with some other more big news leading up to .....

THE BIRTH OF JESUS: That First CHRISTMAS was followed by old SIMEON seeing Jesus. Lk 2:25-35. Later on Young Jesus in the Temple was found talking shop Lk 2:41-52, and chatting theology, until Mary realized Jesus was.. HOME ALONE!!

JB was that VOICE in the desert.. Lk 3:4 preparing the way of the Lord wearing typical Baptist Fashions of the day Mt 3, He was the inventor of the summer Xgames favorite .. Cannonball Baptism, and inspired the modern day Snake Handler Church Mt 3:7. And though he was John the BAPTIST his diet did not consist of your typical Baptist Potluck cuisine Mk 1:6. This led up to the Baptism of Jesus Mk 1:9-11 marked the Beginning of Christ's Ministry with Doves.. not VULTURES. Mt 3:16

THE TEMPTATION OF JESUS (Mt 4 & Lk 4) in the wilderness was performed first hand by SATAN himself, and not one of his lackeys , to turn STONES into bread , WORSHIP the devil? ,and to JUMP! .. BUT finally Satan pouts and decides to take his ball and GO HOME! nah, nah, na, nah, nah!

THE FIRST MIRACLE OF JESUS was turning H2O Into Wine: (John 2) This raised the question whether this was a Miracle or Magic, and left a few unimpressed , and a few others concerned if the Health Inspector would equate Clean Feet with Dirty Wine. A short while later Jesus Clears the Temple (John 2:14-19) because it looked more like a shopping mall than a house of God. Jesus then trash talks the local temple builders union with his threats to DESTROY IT! and build it back up himself.. WITHOUT A UNION CARD!

BORN AGAIN - Nicodemus next meets with Jesus to discuss the birthing process (John 3), and initially was no less confused with spiritual re-birth than my son first read John 3:16 of God's only begotten son not FORGOTTEN Son . The LIGHT (John 3:19) of this dark world is Jesus which my DOG understands, better than HOLLYWOOD. AND remember Light defeats Darkness everytime John 3:30. Even if it may leave you feeling LIGHT headed.

THE SAMARITAN WOMAN at the well (John 4) - was offered LIVING WATER that refreshes without a caffiene buzz or aftertaste.. and then it dawned on her.. Jesus is not some ordinary dude with simple powers found on the the local physic hotline. He was THE DUDE!

Next we find Jesus Rejected in his own home town of Nazareth Jesus ESCAPES Lk 4:28-30 but shortly there after casts out a demon in Caperneum like a Norwegian finding heartburn relief from eating hot peppers in their lutefisk. How do U spell RELIEF? J-E-S-U-S Lk 4:31-36

HIS DISCIPLES ARE THEN CHOSEN Mt. 4:19, Mk 1:14-19 though I don't recall all their names. many were master fishermen but Jesus taught them a lesson or two on catching fish Lk 5:1-11. After their fishing lesson Jesus challenged them to be Fishers of Men, yes.. Fishers of Men , which confused a few TODAY who exclaimed - I don't BAIT MY HOOK that way , Of course today fishing for men takes the right bait..Pizza ,

WINESKINS (Mk 2:22, Lu 5:37) were one of the many parables Jesus used and which has since been paraphrased by Red Green , and by my own experiences in the job Interview process.

THE DOCTOR IS IN: Among Jesus many miracles was healing the sick Mt 8:1-4, lame (john 5), blind, possessed Mk 1:21-28, the paralyzed Mk 3:1-5, those unsightly skin condtions Mk 1:40-45, the Deaf Mk 7:32-37, withered HANDS, and about everyone else. All it takes is the Touch of HIS GARMENT Mt 9:18-26 and faith to be healed, because God knows the number of HAIRS on your Head Mt 10:30 and cares for each of us. Jesus the great physician was there for the sick Mk 2:15-16 and not a well doctor care specialist. Lk 5:31 Jesus di house calls, but also the unconventional ROOF CALL . Of course one man's healing is another man's THIN ICE. Mk 1:29-31, and the whole idea of the dead rising from the grave had a few thinking is this man Elijah returned or STEVEN KING?? Jo 5:28. So though the dead lived, the sick were healed, and the blind could now see this all fueled the angst of many against Jesus.

Jesus warns against the dangers of an Open Mind with an Empty Soul? Mk 3:6. 12:43-45, teaches Love your enmies even Evil-Doers? Lu 6:27, give up Your COAT but not your PANTS? Lu 6:29. Again.. remember LOVE your enemies? Lu 6:32-36, and don't JUDGE! Lu 6:37. Jesus taught the Lu 6:39 Blind should not lead the BLIND (BLB) , Lu 6:40 the proper relationship between Student and TEACHER , Lu 6:41 know the difference between a SPECK and a BEAM , Lu 6:43-44 and finally the simple truth found in a BAD Tree v GOOD Tree ,

SERMON ON THE MOUNT (Mt 5-7)
This leads us to the Sermon on the Mount where the simple truths of God's love and hope for mankind was clearly spoken.. THOUGH there were a few misunderstandings from those in the waayy back snacking on cheese and crackers. Mt. 5:9. The sermon on the Mount spoke of being LIGHT Mt. 5:14 for this dark world a more light when traveling a dark path. We are called to be salt, LUTEFISK? and/or SALSA depending on your cultural surroundings., but not too much SALT. Mt 5:13 and good grief .. Follow that RECIPE. Mt 5:20 Following The Law is just not good enough did not set well with the 'church elders' of the day. Don't be Angry with your brother? Mt 5:22, or call him a Fool!! even if your governor was once a pro wrestler.. If your eye causes you to sin don't get glasses.. Get rid of it!! Pluck it out , Mt 5:29. WITH REGARDS TO TRUTH, let your yes be yes, no pinky swear! , and realize TO TELL THE TRUTH can be RISKY! , and maybe downright DANGEROUS! (Mt 5:37). Then Jesus message to LOVE TAX COLLECTORS was no more popular than it is today thank you very much Mr., IRS ! , Mt 5:46Jesus described BAD Giving Mt 6:1-6 , WISHFUL THINKING Mt 6:9-13, how to Pray Eh? Mt 6:9-15, shared Rules for FASTING Mt 6:16, and the art of eating while unshaven, unshowered , and Sad? , Jesus taught the great truth that our Treasures are in Heaven Mt 6:20, and Judge NOT! Mt 7:1 lest ye get clobbered! From this famous sermon I became aware of the Speck Patrol Mt 7:3-5, and while the scriptures never use the term Holy cow, they do address Holy dog? Mt 7:6., and.. snakes and rocks are not Good gifts.. go figure!Mt 7:9-11 IN CONCLUSION the Sermon on the Mount is a worthwhile mountain to SUMMIT!! and a Beattitude with a Bad attitude will be a lesson lost.

The DEAD, the DEMONIC, the PIGS (Mt 8:28-32, Mk 5:1-20)-? Ok, now it is like Jesus is just getting warmed up because next he read of a MAN raised from the dead... Lu 7:11-17, a GIRL raised from dead and NO she was not just sleeping Mk 5:35-43. Then it is just like Jesus to pick The FIRST MISSIONARY Lu 8:38-39 not from the local seminary. But this all proves again.. it is not about the messager, it is about the message and the message is hope.. unless.. you are a Demon or Pig. So the man is exorcised to the mission field, and demons are exiled into a herd of Cliff Dive PORKY PIGS! , which despite saving this man's life alarmed the pig farmers, and spiked the PRICE of PORK.
Jesus teaches us next about The LEAST in Heaven Mt 11:11, the answer to a life of BURDEN, and catches heat from the Pharisees who believe Jesus casts out demons by the power of the Devil himself Mt 12:22-24 , but Jesus follows up all this with wise counsel regarding those who mock or rejct you..Shake DUST/GUM off your feet!! Lu 9:5 and call it like it is ROTTEN FRUIT comes from rotten trees Mt 12:33, and my favorite ZINGER was calling the Pharisees a Brood of Vipers Mt 12:22-47.

STORMY SEA (Mt 8, Mk 4) : Next Jesus is sleeping on a boat traveling with his discliples when they are hit be a storm that threatens their very life. So they wake Jesus and He says.. Peace Be Still which paraphrased is.. Talk to the HAND. Because Jesus CALMS THE STORM no matter if the storm is figurative or literal He will Calm the Storm.. Everytime

Want to learn How to feed a crowd on a budget then talk to Jesus, Mk 6:30-44. Whether you have a hungry 5000 at McDonalds Lu 9:10-17, Mk 8:10,or 4000 Jesus is my chef of choice. And there have been those times where I would like my junk food blessed and go a bit farther just for me..

Mt 11:28 There were the lessons of Burdens and Letting Go and Authentic v Phony Faith Mt 13:25-30